My week-thing of death is almost over. With just one more midterm and a formal lab report to do/hand in for tomorrow, I'm almost done this hell. From here on out, it will be a nice, manageable workload. Just regular classes, regular studying, regular random assignments. Thank God. I can actually go to the gym and have a decent workout. Maybe even borrow my roomie's Pilates tape and do some stretching. Make friends with my yoga ball once more, and in the process, make enemies with my knees. And if I'm very very lucky, manage to get a tape of "What Not to Underwear" and watch people with no taste get yelled at. So satisfying.

School is being okay once more. I resent the fact that it has eaten a large chunk of my life and concerns, but I can live with that. I am zen. I even suspect that when it comes time to graduate, I may be sad to leave, and consider going back for more education.

I have completely lost interest in books lately though. I keep picking up books that I remember were good, and finding them to be utter crap. Any suggestions? Anything, be it good brain-esploding literature, or light fluffy fantasy. I need to get back in the groove. I miss reading good books. Keyword being 'good'.

Why is it that I'm always torn between studying what I know will get me a job somewhere, and what I really really want to study? I just can't get a break, can I? At least this time, it's all within the same faculty, so it's not too bad. Labwork, or fieldwork? Labwork or fieldwork? Fieldwork would be so satisfying now, but I can imagine that as I got older, it wouldn't be so fun anymore. I'd want a more stable, sitting down sort of job. But what's the point of being young if all you do is plan for when you're old and won't enjoy things anymore?

I think I will just do what I want, damn the world.

I'm going to do an exchange in third year, even if it costs me another year of school. I want to live in Europe.

I'm going to take field courses next year and every year after, even if it costs me thousands and all my spring breaks until I graduate. I want to see the jungles.

I am going to graduate with a specialization in Biodiversity. Screw you, world. If it all goes to crap, then I'll just be a student forever, and get a more useful degree later.

I'm going to work my ass off for a summer, and possibly get a weekend job, so I can go backpacking and travel and not give a damn about anything.

It feels good to say that.